Everything in life happens for a reason that we might know immediately, or later, or we may not know, yet, in all cases, we have to accept and believe that whatever happens to us is for our benefit and to add to our life experience.
“Acceptance is the key to serenity”

Nobody wants to live alone! Some people spend long time to find their right partner, some partners are happy, while others live with their partners for years then they start to realize that they are not happy, probably because they notice the incompatibility in many issues that make their life tough, or because one of the partners is not satisfied and some needs are not fulfilled, or that both partners do not have the same interests or do not share responsibilities together.

In order to be happy with our partners, do we have to be similar to each other, or do we have to ignore some of our needs, or should we get adapted with our partners’ system, or to compromise between what we need and what our partners need?

On which basis shall we build our selection and make the right choice? There are many aspects that should be considered. Do we have to think logical and listen to the sound of our minds or to feel the pulse of our hearts? Are there standards that we all should apply while making our choice regardless of the type of personality do we have?

The image of your dream partner is probably sketched out in your mind since you were young and you will keep aiming at finding it for the rest of your life. You may or you may not find it. You should be realistic and know that our minds don’t choose whom we love; yet our hearts do! Is LOVE an essential aspect? Remember that a partnership is a selfless endeavor that requires continuous effort to grow.

How to Choose Mr./Mrs. Right?

A. Know yourself first to raise self awareness:
Write down the following:

1. Your positives.
2. Your negatives.
3. Your interests (likes & dislikes)
4. Your purpose in life.
5. Your dream in life.
6. Your goals in life (short-term or long-term).
7. Your values.
8. Your wants and needs.

B. Know your partner:
Write down the following:

1. All the qualities and personality traits and behaviors that you wish to find in your partner, including the physical attraction, style, age, nationality, education, position, socio-economic standard, lifestyle, political views, eating habits, history, childhood, family relationships, friendships, talents, hobbies, interests, the way of treating you, future plans, ethics, spirituality or religious background, beliefs, intelligence, kindness, wisdom, etc. (Those are just guidelines).
2. Classify the characteristic that you wish to find in your partner into MAJOR and MINOR. Majors are the things that you cannot live without. Minors are the things that you can live without or cope with.

C. Analyze Yourself:
Ask yourself what is holding you back from having a loving relationship. Perhaps you are hurt from a previous break-up. Maybe you are afraid of commitment. Identify these issues and find ways to resolve them. In addition, examine your previous relationships and learn from them. What mistakes did you make? What aspects of a previous relationship would you want to develop in a future relationship? Finally, examine other factors that might affect your partner choice.

There are things that are agreed upon to be in us and in our partners:

• High Self-esteem
• Self Integrity
• Emotional Openness and awareness
• Maturity and Responsibility
• Mutual respect
• Positive attitude towards life
• Commitment to personal growth

Always remember that healthy relationships are those during which we feel happy and in peace, while destructive relationships always make us stressed out and unhappy.

“Trust your inner feeling and the first impression”

By Salwa Afifi