Clarification / Notice / Attention... or whatever they call it:

This article is written under extreme duress, bullying, emotional pain and coercion…it was like: you either write this article about this topic… or you don’t write at all… ever… again!!! Mwahahahahaha!

Let me clarify… I am an Egyptian African Arab Muslim guy who is 33 years old… Oh and I am SINGLE!

And they thought it would be fun to talk about being Single at this age at these times, in these places… And they are right! It’s definitely more fun than being married with kids in these times, in these places.

Now don’t get me wrong… I would like to get married and have kids of my own someday… but till that days come (if it does) then I will be enjoying myself.

Of course this tends to be weird since, as Egyptians we mostly get married because of horniness, which is a legitimate reason so not to fall in the wrong. Few marry for love but most marry because it is Sunah el7yat… which I am fine with, had it not been for the twisted institution of marriage that we have in Egypt. I feel it’s like a barter system, you take my girl, and I will take your time, money and suck all the happiness out of you till you get married.

You see… I am not crazy about Egyptian girls… at all. Heck I’m not crazy about Egyptian guys and I am one of them (although I do love me). They are both F***ed up, big time! Not their faults though… it’s the environment… economically, politically and socially that screwed us up in the heads and our parents before us and their parents before them.

It does get tougher in a society where it’s encouraged to be married before 30 to have the same number of friends or do the same rate of activities. As we all know marriage is the end of life as we know it… and the start of another (one that is more responsible, less fun but has more sex yet a lot of sleepless nights, but still brings you joy as a parent) It is one of paradox.

But I never did succumb to peer pressure, which many of us do. When I do get married, I will do so either for falling in love or because I became too old and need to get married now (which would be in 2 years). It’s even harder for our Christian brethren… boom you only get 1 shoot… talk about high stakes.

The whole thing is like buying a watermelon (batee7a ya3ni), you never truly know what you get till you open it.

Kan Allah fi 3oon my parents… they lost all hope for me or my younger brother (30 years old) of ever getting married... Which I really like because they are not pressuring us into the whole thing like most parents do, of course now they are concentrating on the youngest (25).

But singlism is making a comeback, we are now having more breakups than before, which is sad but reflects how we are as a society and individuals. We are short spanned attention wise, we bore easily and most im-

portantly we don’t communicate well (as has the last two years shown us – that was a political reference for those who didn’t get it – and I was meaning the ekhwan vs the others for those who didn’t know which reference was it about).

So yes… I love being single, I get to go whenever I want, to wherever I want with whoever I want. And I just love that. I am selfish and I am still not capable of sacrifice. Does it get lonely… of course not! Even when there is no one, myself is very enjoyable to be with.

Don’t get me wrong (which you probably already did), I might be cynical but I love a good love story as much as the next guy (see what I did there when I used love) I believe there are great love stories, and that love is bliss, pink, that sweet twitch in the stomach, the skipped heart beats, the sighs, the gazes, the daydreaming, the night dreaming and whatever else that lovers do.

Valentine’s Day is coming up as well… so happy V wishes to all our love couples out there, may that bliss you are in continue on forever. But it will not… because real couples don’t celebrate V. Day, because to them every day is V. Day :D

Man… I almost got through that with a straight face. Who cares about V. Day… just another excuse to get gifts, be all mushy, giddy for no apparent reason and silly about love.

We are wired to look for company, to search for our “soul mates”, to seek out love, to love and be loved, to get destroyed by love and love yet again. It‘s just how we were made. And who am I to stand in face of such a force. Ultimately I want the same things… but for now I will still have fun being free.

The words above don’t necessary reflect that of the writer of this article… because as has been stated above… it was written under duress and the writer might have subconsciously tried to sabotage the peace..

By Hesham El-Dahmy